God knows I haven't blogged nearly as much as I'd hoped to. Life has been daunting and busy and tired-making so I haven't done it. But I've definitely been thinking about it. And the journey sure as hell hasn't stopped.
And did I mention? I did it!
I'm here, and I'm happy.
I got through the 90 Day Challenge with the use of my 5 passes. I definitely had to realize quickly that certain battles were more important than others. After all - I have the rest of my life to get perfect. : )
So I watched too much television, I reflected on my dreams but didn't journal much, and as for the having fun challenge - I have fun. In my way. And I'll work on having more. But stressing out about having the right kind of fun just wasn't worth the worry at this point. Though I truly appreciate the sentiment behind the challenge.
Although I feel like I owe an accounting of my "progress" I really just feel like rambling a bit about how I feel right now. Please indulge me.
I turned 40 today. And I realized that with all the other goals and associations I'd linked to the day - I'd completely forgotten that my 29 year old soul was going to celebrate/face 40 years in this body.
You might think that freaks me out. And you'd be right.
But the truth is. My 29 year old soul has been working its magic on my 40 year old body - and I don't feel a day over 22 at the moment!! And given the fact that I lost a freakin' tooth this week??? I'd say that's a mighty fine accomplishment.
I took this year by the balls and made it my bitch. And that's just the way it is.
I am overcome with excitement right now. I have woken up and I'm ready to live! I know that there will be struggles and that I must be diligent not to fall into old traps because GOD KNOWS I am just so damn susceptible to my vices. But you know what - it's all part of me. And I don't mean that in a "good side/bad side" way. It's all one and the same. It's all me, and it 's all good.
I love my lust for life! I love that I will knock a grown man down in the street just because I can and he has it coming (don't worry - the blizzard broke his fall). I love that I will always love chocolate so much that rigorous exercise is the only path to salvation! I love that I'm passionate - even though that means ecstatic highs and desperate lows. Those ecstatic highs are what makes life worth living (and living it with me an epic adventure) and the lows are what make us human and teaches us that we all fall down, blessings must be counted, and all things are possible - for anyone. All the time.
Because I laugh, I am love.
Because I fear, I am love.
Because I dare, I am love.
Because I ache, I am love.
Because I long, I am love.
Because I live, I am love.
Because I love, I am.
I gave 45 pounds back to the universe. I want to be fit and agile to navigate my destiny.
I stretched and twisted my broken back into believing it can hold up the universe.
I spoke my truth and let the universe know that I wanted more.
I chose to live.
Side note - tonight was perhaps the best bubble bath yet. Scented candles, Adele on shuffle, and a b-day prezzie 'bath bomb' dedicated to my Karma. Bubbles, potions, lotions, and a girly glass of white, left me feeling all dreamy and grateful. And smelling FANTASTIC!
So let's see what December 6th has in store.
I'm ready.
